Predict Dangerous and Controlling Behaviors.
Keep in mind that 99.9% of people do not intend to hurt you; The few who want to harm you will give clear signals. Most attackers do not start with brute force. They start by attracting a woman to a remote area and forcing her to give up her check. In his book The Gift of Fear, Gavin de Becker calls these signals Indicators of Incidents (P.I.N.S.). According to the book, your instincts not only help you avoid dangerous situations, but can also determine someone’s intention to know what to look for. These are the P.I.N.S. to search, and examples of, each. On the stage, a woman is confronted by a strange man in the building of her apartment.
Too many details: if someone lies, add excessive details to make them look more credible. (“I’ll go to your apartment anyway, I’ll meet a friend, but I’m late, my clock has stopped working, so we have to hurry, come on, we have a hungry cat waiting for this cat food”).
Typecasting: an insult to let you talk to someone you do not know. (“There is something like being too proud, stop being silly now and give me another bag”).
Loan sharing: offer unsolicited assistance and expect favors in return. (“I uploaded your purchases four flights of stairs, just let me put them on the counter”).
Unsolicited promise: a promise to do (or not do) something when no such promise was requested; This usually means that the promise will be broken. (“You can leave the door open, I’ll leave as soon as I leave the bags, I promise”).
Discounting the word “no” – Refusal to accept.
Throughout the shopping bag incident, the woman repeatedly told the stranger that she did not want his help, but he ignored every “no”. She gave him control of the situation and was raped for three hours. The full story can be found in the book The Gift of Fear. The book also emphasizes that “no” is a complete sentence and does not require further explanation.
Know your Strengths and Weakness.
Your elbow is the strongest point of your body. If you get close enough, use it. When you fall to the ground, use your legs to kick your attacker. Go through its four weakest points: eyes, throat, groin and knees. If you get trapped behind the waist, press your attacker under the arm, between the elbow and the armpit or on the inside top of the thigh … HARD. You can literally push the muscle away from the bone in these areas. If you are forced to conform before you can fight, grab your balls, then PULL, TWIST, YANK. He can not kidnap you after being castrated.
You have the Right to Fight
Do not be afraid to fight if you feel threatened in any way. A decent man will not approach a woman in a place where she would feel vulnerable, especially after she has called him to a halt. Statistics show that women who do not resist are attacked earlier and suffer more serious injuries than women who defend themselves. When attacked, use the code Cobra Kai “Save first! Save hard! Save fast! Do not be sorry!” Do not wait for things to intensify. Your goal is not to stay and fight; is to break with your attacker so you can run for help.
Do not move
Do what you must do to avoid being taken to a secondary location. Predators must keep them away from people and reach a place where they are least likely to catch them. Even if someone has pointed a gun at you, there is still an opportunity to escape. He will not shoot you with multiple witnesses in the area. His plan is to carry out a calm and uninterrupted attack, not to go to jail. If he is pointing a gun at you from a distance, he zigzags. In the unlikely event that it fires, it is likely to hit you and the possibility of it striking a vital organ is less. While you risk injury, you will be guaranteed an injury or even death if you are taken to a second place.
Stay Alert on Vacations
Tourists are the main targets of predators, especially women who travel alone. Use the valet service if available. The additional costs are definitely worth your security. Keep your hotel room locked at night and the chain when you are inside and do not let anyone in your room know about it. If someone says they work for the hotel, call the reception to confirm. Never leave an extra room key lying down to grab someone when the maid is not looking. Never tell anyone that you travel alone. When you register, ask for two keys and indicate that your husband or friend will be with you soon. You never know who might be listening to your conversation.
Be Safe at Home
We all want to feel safe when we are at home. By being alert to prevent a violent crime, your home remains your safe haven. Take some precautions, such as keeping doors closed, even during the day. The only door that most people forget is the garage door. If you forget to close or close your garage, someone has open access to your home. Another deterrent is noise. Predators will avoid houses with alarm systems or dogs. If you do not have a home alarm, hold the car’s remote control next to your bed. If you hear someone steal, press the panic button to turn off the alarm on your car.
Most women are attacked by someone they know and 40 percent of the time the crime will occur in the victim’s home. Predators rely on the weakness of women to allow good ways to suppress their survival instincts. It is likely that most women are attentive to drugs that they throw at their drinks and do not know how to be alone with someone they have just met. However, the lines can become blurred when things get intimate. Do not be afraid to say ‘no’ or stop at any time during an intimate encounter. You do not need a reason. “No” is a complete sentence and the man must stop immediately when he hears it.
If it does not stop, it has crossed the line to attack. If he does not have bad intentions with you and the attack is more about being controlled by impulses, you could stop the attack by saying: “Do not kidnap me.” Listening to the word “rape” can take it verbally to reality. However, if it continues, you should treat it as if it were a stranger on the street and fight with everything you have, because at that time there is no possibility that it is a “misunderstanding”.
Stay in Groups
By staying in large groups and populated areas, you can limit the possibility of violent discussion / confrontation. An example might be that you take that shortcut along the way to get home.
Use of Common Objects.
Shared objects can be used as self-defense tools if necessary. Unfortunately, in Australia, aids such as pepper spray are not legal for the use of citizens in self-defense. As such, improvisation is central. The use of a bag, keys, hair spray, deodorant are excellent commonly used tools to defend yourself. Other common elements, such as umbrellas, sticks and even a cell phone can be used very effectively to protect yourself and your property.
Of course, the best personal defense is the practice of a consistent and reality-based system. There is no magic pill, the confrontation with the possibility of being the target of a violent crime is terrifying, but it is not necessary for women to live a paranoid life. Although you can not control all situations, you can make smarter decisions, such as avoiding unnecessary risks. Learn to trust your intuition and defend yourself. Let the phrase “I hit like a girl” overcome the fear of every possible rapist.